Sometimes my attention gets caught by and I focus on the most random things. The smallest details that can cause delight and that you want to remember because they’re so silly and enjoyable.
Late this afternoon, J caught me standing in the middle of the kitchen staring at the laundry basket. When he got my attention back to reality and he asked me what as so fascinating about our sheets.
It was the way the light was catching and dancing on and around the swirls and wrinkles of a sheet that needed to be ironed and folded.
When I asked J what he wanted to remember about today, he said the chocolate muffins we had at lunchtime. They were pretty awesome and his had way more chocolate chips in it than I’m sure there should have been.
How about you? What would you like to remember about today?
My J makes me laugh sometimes. I’ve said before how he’s bored and trying to find a new hobby and he seems to be trying to do all of them all at the same time. And possibly just stalking me around the internet.
He’s brushing up on his German on Duolingo, he’s still futzing around with his blog, he’s signed up to do a psychology course on line, he’s trying out bujoing… he’s even talked about trying to learn to knit. S has given him a list of jobs to do round the house and we’re talking about redecorating the bedroom and having a new kitchen. He’s also wanting to turn the other of the boxrooms into his own lttle ‘study’ like I’ve got. He’s definitely enjoying spending time reading and doing crosswords though and the dogs are really loving having him to play with all the time.
He’s a big dork and I really do love him.
I’m reading this book at the moment called Whoniverse: An Unofficial Planet-By-Planet Guide to the World of the Doctor from Gallifrey to Skaro by Lance Parkin and it’s making me want to do a Doctor Who rewatch. Definitely ‘new’ Who but I’m also really tempted to go back and watch some ‘classic’ Who as well, start with Hartnell and work my way forwards in time. I know a lot of Patrick Troughton’s stuff has been lost but rewatching Tom Baker and Jon Pertwee and I don’t think I’ve ever gone back and rewatched Sylvester McCoy’s stuff from the 80s
It’s been a really good weekend.
Friday night was our usual; all three of us going out for a pizza and a movie, we went to see Lego Batman because we’re all about 6 years old. It was so much fun.
Saturday was entertaining. There was an England V Wales Rugby match. J is an England supporter. S is Welsh and yes, she supports Wales. Me, I don’t give two hoots either way and… well lets just say I was a little bit tied up at the time, shall we?
Wales lost. S is still sulking and yes she took it out on J’s ass when he gloated!
Today was a lazy morning in bed, the way Sundays are always. The afternoon was a little different to normal though – normally we play board games, watch DVDs, the weeks reward/punishments are dealt out. But today we went back to the cinema for Fifty Shades Darker. I know they’re terrible, Grey is an abuser not a Dom and they’re a horrific portrayal of BDSM but I still find myeslf enjoying the movies even though I know I shouldn’t. Rewards/punishment will happen later when S is finished working for the night.
And now tonight. S is off in her office marking homework and finalising lesson plans. J’s knee is bothering him and he’s sitting with his legs up and a heat pack on his knee and he’s doing a crossword and he’s got his headphones on so he’s probably listening to some opera or something. I’ve been trying to read but I’m tired and my attention span isn’t brilliant. According to the time stamp I started this post and now it’s already taken me 53 minutes to write this post. I’m reading two books at the moment. Whoniverse: An Unofficial Planet-By-Planet Guide to the World of the Doctor from Gallifrey to Skaro by Lance Parkin and The Sandman: Endless Nights by Neil Gaiman but I’m not concentrating so I’m rewatching a new favourite The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey. I have a mug of hot chocolate and a donut and life is pretty good.
(Apparently if I’m going to tell you guys that J has a blog, I should actually give you the link. He’s at http://jackjanderson.wordpress.com – he’s not sure he likes his username, he’s not sure he likes his layout but he’s liking ‘the whole blogging thing’ so far)
There’s something comforting about rewatching favourite movies over again. I think it’s the predictability factor – there’s no surprises and it’s safe because you know what’s going to happen. It doesn’t matter if I’m having low concentration or zoney out day, I’m not going to miss anything or risk being completely confused.
And, because of the types of moves that I like, the good guys always win.
I think the movies I’ve seen most are Star Wars, Back To The Future, Harry Potter, Marvel, X-Men, Jurassic Park. There’s probably more too but those are definitely stand out ones.
J & I were re-watching Independance Day this afternoon. I dread to think how many times I’ve seen it but I always love it. I always get that sense of awe when the ships come in, the ‘today we celebrate our independance’ speech always give me shivers and I’m always on the edge of my seat at the climax.
Even if S was teasing us about watching it for the millionth time, and clearly itching to give us her usual ‘bad science’ rant about it. Although she had been watching us making out for a while and was maybe a little distracted. What can I say, J and I were curled up on the couc watching it this afternoon and there may have been making out like teenagers and… other related activities 😉
It’s been an absolutely crazy couple of weeks. I don’t know where the time has gone, I feel like it’s completely run away with me and I’ve achieved nothing. I’ve not made it online or anything! It’s also been manic and stressful and J and I have been fighting and we both got punished a lot and not in the really fun way either 😦
See, J retired just before Christmas and it was all fun over the break. But then January and reality and normal kicked in and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He’s not used to being home and having nothing to do and he got bored – and even more bored once S had gone back to school. It was fun to start with, having J around all the time and, yes, there was a lot of sex 🙂
But then it stopped being so fun. Chores and errands weren’t getting done. S would get mad at both of us. Then because my routine was interrupted, I wasn’t taking my medications and got sick and there was yelling and guilt and it all really wasn’t fun. I got lectured on routines and distractions and the importance of my health, and J did too. And he was told that he has to let me do my jobs first and if he wants to help he has to ask because my routine is important. He was also told to find something to do, to find a new hobby.
That was about 10 days ago. We now both have behaviour and chore charts and we have to report to S each day about what we did. We get either daily punishment or reward as necessary. It’s working though. I’m recovering again, I’ve got my routine back and I’m happier. Still a little insomnia but it’s getting better. And the house is back to normal standards. Which makes S happier. J’s been letting me get on with my work, or helping out in little ways but he mostly reads or watches TV while I’m working. And he’s got a new hobby – he’s discovered the internet, got himself a laptop and even has a blog
Hopefully this new equilibrium will continue!
Clearly, J, S & I are too old to do the staying up to see in the New Year and associated fun times that we had until the small hours of the morning. This afternoon we were watching ET and S fell asleep. Next thing I know, J had shaken us both awake and sent us to bed. Well, OK, he sent me to bed and strongly suggested that S to as well. Which we did. And then he joined us. There wasn’t even any sex, literally just sleeping.
Woke up about an hour and a half later and J had gone, left a note saying he’d gone to the football match. Mad man. It’s raining out there and it’s like 6 degrees- and he complains about his back and his knees and he’s gone to watch a bunch of guys running around a football field. Ah well, he enjoys it at least.
I’m definitely still tired. I keep getting glimpses of this black shadowy figure out of the corner of my eye and a sense of being watched, and this strangest sensation of everything being muted by static. Not entirely pleasant. I’m 90% sure it’s a hallucination but you always wonder. I also have no concentration span, I have no idea what’s going on the movie – I’m not foowing it at all. I’m fidgety and it’s taken me like 40 minutes to write this.
I’ve checked my pillbox and all my meds are taken. Note made of symptoms and influences in my tracker.
Ah the fun of mental health.
Can I have a do-over on January 1st, please?
S and I are watching Despicable Me and trying to decide what to have for dinner – and apparently I keep ‘wandering off’ while we’re talking so I probably won’t be allowed to cook, at least not unsupervised. We’ve narrowed it down to either a three-cheese risotto (because J isn’t home and we can have fun experimenting/having new foods) or just having pie and mash.
This wasn’t even what I was going to sit down and write about but I can’t remember what I was going to. I’m also not entirely sure I’m making any sense.
I was thinking about New Years Resolutions and what I want to achieve, my goals for 2017.
I definitely want to continue working on my English, Maths and Science. I want to continue eating healthily and exercising. I want to retain my current mental health levels.
These are all things that have been working well for me in 2016
I heard about a website called Day Zero Project which says it’s an an online community for people who love creating lists, setting challenges, and making positive changes in their lives. and it’s most famous for being the home of the 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge… which is something I know I cannot commit to.
But they have a challenge called ‘7 Things x 2017′ which is taglined as An alternative to boring New Years’ resolutions. A list of seven prompts to get you thinking about what you want to achieve in 2017. And based on these prompts, I’ve set myself the below goals
Learn how to speak German
Start drinking more water
Stop eating when I’m not hungry
Take a vacation to somewhere new
Find happiness in the small things
Try rock climbing
Be more patient with myself
Today is my beautiful S’s birthday – 48 today
J and I are spoiling her completely. Breakfast in bed, presents, plenty of attention paid to her. She’s currently taking her time soaking in a hot bubble bath and J is making dinner.
I got her a voucher for a wine and cheese tasting day. J got her a season pass for the Rugby club she supports – both her and J want to get back to going to see the sports teams they support. She’s actually going to see Bangor play Llangefni tonight.
This afternoon though, promises to be lazy and funflled and warm and naked. My favourite!
Just a day after her daughter died… I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child and I heard on the news that her last words were that she wanted to be with Carrie.
I hope she finds peace being with her again.
My heart aches for their family, losing both Debbie and Carrie in such a short space of time and at this time of year as well ♥