Lonely but grateful

I do not like sleeping alone. We have this lovely huge bed but last night it seemed some vast expanse of emptiness. I kept rolling over and there was no-one pressed up against me, no-one to cuddle up to. It took me ages over the last couple of weeks to get used to mostly just having J in the bed so being on my own last night was horrible. And there’s still two more nights of it.

Monday will come soon enough though and I will have my bed back the way I like it, even if it’s only for one night before S is back to Manchester.

I should be grateful though.
We have a comfortable enough life that S is able to just whisk J away for their anniversary.
We have this huge, comfortable bed.
And I have the two best people in the world to share it with.
I have family who understand that it’s not necessarily safe for me to be left alone for too long – and who don’t mind ‘babysitting’ me for the weekend.
I’m spending quality time with my little sister enjoying some fun movies and tv shows, and sampling some of the best delivery service the town provides.

Life is good. I shouldn’t complain – but I do miss J&S something fierce!

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Wedding Anniversaries and Superhero Marathons

Happy 12th wedding anniversary to my J&S. ♥
And they’re still so completely in love, you should see the way they look at each other!

She came back from Manchester late last night to surprise J and she’s whisked him away to New York for the weekend to celebrate which gives me chance to prep for my surprise when they come home. 12th anniversary is traditionally silk so I’ve got them (ok, us LOL) some gorgeous new silk sheets😀
He got her some very sexy silk lingerie and a beatiful pearl necklace

I’ve had a quick phonecall from S to let me know her and J arrived safely in New York so that’s one less thing to worry about.

My little sister Polly has come to stay with me for the weekend and we’re just having a pause in the middle of having an MCU marathon. The plan is to watch as many of the tv shows/movies in internal chronological order, because we are complete geeks. It was her idea but I have no complaints about it. I know we won’t get the whole thing done in one weekend but at least we have plans for… quite a few weekends over the rest of the year haha.

So far today we’ve watched Captain America: The First Avenger and the first three episodes of Agent Carter. We’re taking a quick break, ordering in some takeout, refreshing drinks, doing some stretches before we dive back in with the rest of the show.

I do love me some Peggy Carter. That Hayley Atwell is one fine looking lady.
I’d love to know how they make Chris Evans look so scrawny in Captain America. That man is many things but puny he is not! He is also one fine looking man!

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Lucy Lives!


So it seems to have been quite a few weeks since I posted here. It’s been quite a few weeks since I was online, in fact and I’ve spent most of the last 4 hours clearing out 5-6 weeks worth of email. I’m mostly caught up with that now and find myself here catching up on your blogs and reading about what you’ve been up to. I doubt I’ll get completely up-to-date though so… tell me what you’ve been up to?!

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Day 7 – Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality

Considering the first thing I had to do was look up what my zodiac sign even is, I think it tells you a lot about how much stock I put into such things. It appeas that being born on November 17th makes me Scorpio. I’ve learned something new today. Continuing googling, I learn from a website called http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com that

Strengths: Resourceful, brave, passionate, stubborn, a true friend
Weaknesses: Distrusting, jealous, secretive, violent
Scorpio likes: Truth, facts, being right, longtime friends, teasing, a grand passion
Scorpio dislikes: Dishonesty, revealing secrets, passive people

Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness.

Scorpio is a Water sign and lives to experience and express emotions. Although emotions are very important for Scorpio, they manifest them differently than other water signs. In any case, you can be sure that the Scorpio will keep your secrets, whatever they may be.

Pluto is the planet of transformation and regeneration, and also the ruler of this zodiac sign. Scorpios are known by their calm and cool behavior, and by their mysterious appearance. People often say that Scorpio-born are fierce, probably because they understand very well the rules of the universe. Some Scorpio-born can look older than they actually are. They are excellent leaders because they are very dedicated to what they do. Scorpios hate dishonesty and they can be very jealous and suspicious, so they need to learn how to adapt more easily to different human behaviors. Scorpios are brave and therefore they have a lot of friends

Let’s see – yes, I agree that I’m passionate and stubborn and probably pretty brave. I definitely appreciate being told the truth, having my friends for a long time and a certain type of teasing! I also agree with hating dishonesty.
I don’t agree with being ‘Distrusting, jealous, secretive, violent’ at ALL.
I’m not the most assertive person in the world, but I do like to think I’m a fact-finder and will dig til I find the truth. When I’m in the right frame of mind then yes, I’m very aware of the situation… probably hyper-aware sometimes.
I’m very emotional that’s true. I’m definitely not ‘cool and calm’ or mysterious!
I’m not a good leader, I’m not jealous and suspicious and I don’t really have a lot of friends.

So there you have it. I don’t particularly think I’m a very typical Scorpio

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Day 6 – Write 30 interesting facts about yourself

I’m trying really hard not to over-think the meaning of an interesting fact and just go straight into listing them.

1) I was named after the character of Lucy Pevensie from The Chronicles Of Narnia – and the girl she was based on – June Flewett, Lady Freud. My full name is Lucy June Beatrice
2) I am the middle child of 5. I have one elder brother Peter, one elder sister Susan, and twin younger sisters Polly & Esme. We are all named for characters from the Narnia books
3) I’m in a poly triad relationship with J&S. We’ve been together 6 years
4) We have two cats (Jadis & Aslan – yes, carrying on the Narnia theme) and one dog (Odin)
5) I am fascinated by Angels
6) My favourite board game is Monopoly.
7) I have a keen interest in cryptozoology and the paranormal
8) I love science-fiction, especially when it involves space exploration
9) I have schizoaffective disorder and ADHD
10) I am ridiculously obsessed with my bulletjournal
11) I am completely addicted to watching planwithme videos on youtube
12) I really to plan the way the girls in the community do, but I’m not prepared to pay the price of the planners or the sticker sets
13) But I really want an Erin Condren Life Planner. Or a Travellers Notebook. Or a Filofax
14) I left school with no qualifications
15) I’m currently studying English, Maths, Science and German.
16) I can lose myself in Tetris for hours
17) Ditto for Solitaire
18) Elephants are my favourite animals
19) I’m really looking forward to the Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them movie coming out
20) And Rogue One
21) I’ve been listening to a lot of Aerosmith the last few days
22) I have had a huge crush on Richard Dean Anderson since he was MacGyver.
23) I love all the superhero movies of the last few years, especially Captain America.
24) Chocolate is one of my biggest weaknesses
25) Caffeine makes me sleepy
26) I’m very tactile and love cuddling wih J and/or S
27) I’m submissive to both my partners and love being tied up
28) I love orgasm control
29) I hate pain
30) For our first anniversary, J got me a blue stuffed unicorn. It still sits on the back of our couch

There you have it. 30 facts about me. I’ve no idea how interesting they are but those were the first 30 that sprang to mind.

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Day 5 – A time you thought about ending your own life

This time a topic I’ve thought long and hard about how to answer. My answer itself is very simple but it’s the wording of it. I’ve also gone and learned how to do an post-cut thing so as to hide things from people who, for various reasons, wouldn’t feel comfortable reading about it. The last thing I want is to accidentally trigger someone.

Continue reading

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Insomnia Strikes

I think I need to speak to my doctor about my sleep again – as you can see, it’s almost 1am and I’m wide awake. If current rouine is to be expected, I’ll crash out around 01:45 and sleep really hard until about 5:30. And then spend most of the day feeling very groggy and tired and lethargic. It’s been about a week now and I’m unhappy about it. Possibly an adjustment in dosage of something or other.

I’ve taken to sleeping in what gets designated as “my” room – second largest of the bedrooms and with staircase heading up to loft conversion – rather than our room. I don’t want my lack of sleep disturbing J or S. Although 80% of the time, when I wake up, one of them – usually S – will be in the bed with me.

Lets see, what else is going on?

Watching NCIS earlier and it really is worth noting that Mark Harmon is a very attractive man. He’s starting to look his age, but it’s not detracting from his handsomeness.
Mark Weatherley, on the other hand, is not aging well. Although the older he gets, the more genius the casting of Robert Wagner as DiNozzo Snr is because WOW the resemblance is remarkable.
I’ve noticed that I’ve missed a couple of seasons of NCIS: Los Angeles and that there’s an NCIS: New Orleans now as well, so I might make watching those a summer project.

Summer is always strange around here. We’re hitting the time of year where the university students all go home for the summer but the tourists haven’t descended yet. It’s starting like a bit of a ghost town and it’s quite spooky. It’ll be like it another 6 weeks or so, then things will be insane in August. I like this time of year though because S basically takes these 6 weeks off. Come August, she’ll be busy with organisation, prep, research, locking herself in the lab and doing stuff. But these 6 weeks, she just kicks back and enjoys her summer. J normally takes some time off too and we’re talking about going away somewhere, maybe just a long weekend, maybe a week.

We need to get to see the new X Men movie.

I’ve found a couple of 30-day exercise challenges that I might try in June. My weight is coming down slowly and I always find healthy eating easier in the warmer weather.
So there’s a 30-day ab challenge full of sit ups, crunches, leg raises and planks – and I need to work out the difference between a sit up and a crunch.
And there’s a 30 day beginner fitness one full of lunges, leg raises, wall sits, squats, jumping jacks and other stuff I’ve never heard of so wil have to google.
I’ve also been looking at the beginner routine from Blogilates on Youtube.

Speaking of Youtube, I am so completely in love with watching Plan With Me videos. I may have mentioned this before. But it’s basically just videos of people with their planners and sticker kits and doing their planning for the week ahead. There’s something really calming and relaxing about it.
There’s part of me that would love to do something like that but I am so not prepared to pay the price of that style of planner and throw in the cost of the sticker kits and it starts getting ridiculous

So I’ll be sticking to my bullet journal. I’ve actually now bought myself a purple A5 Moleskine for doing it and some I think they’re Inkmate pens. Hopefully the postman will bring them Tuesday so I can get everything set up in there before June properly starts on Wednesday. I’ve kept up with it for the whole of May, I’ve worked out what layouts and collections I like/work for me – I don’t like stickers or embellishments, just nice and neat and functional. Mine isn’t all artsy and creative like some of the really pretty ones you see out there but… well, why should I let that stop me doing what works for me?

I said about 30 day challenges. I might even get round to carrying on with that 30 day blog one. I thought about writing the answer to the next one in this post but it’s a pretty depressing topic so I don’t think I will. I’ll answer that tomorrow – might need to figure out how to do one of those ‘read the rest behind here’ things because it’s about suicide and I don’t want to trigger anyone by them not scrolling/skipping past it.

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