How A Relationship works
Someone on a different social media site asked me the other day ‘how does your relationship work’ and I was completely stumped. How do you answer that question? My reply at the time was a smart-ass ‘same as any two-person monogamous relationship, just that there’s three of us’
But I’ve been thinking about that question a lot and how to answer it.
The number one thing? Love. Between all of us, all three of us and all three two-somes. J&S have their night on a Tuesday when I’m at support group meet, I spent Thursdays with S when she’s not teaching and Saturday has always been me and J’s time together. We have a weekly date night on a Friday when we all go out – usually a meal and a movie and Sunday afternoons is always family time.
Honesty – and communication. Kind of obvious, I would have thought. But it goes without saying, there’s no lies between us, no secrets. No saying “It’s fine” or “I’m OK” when that’s not the truth. We talk everything out. Cliche as it may be, never go to bed on an argument or angry.
And arguments do happen, sometimes big and sometimes small. We’re all only people after all.
No intentional comparison of the past or talking about Ex’s unless we have to. J’s ex-wife is still on the peripheral of our lives through their son, and C is part of our lives so yes, his mum gets brought up in conversation. And yes, S gets jealous at times but she doesn’t lie about it – J and his ex shared something that J&S don’t. Again it’s down to honesty and communication and considering other peoples feelings.
There’s a very important word. Sorry. And meaning it when you say it. And saying it when you mean it.
We’re all very affectionate. And, really, is there anything better than being cuddled up with two pretty damn hot people? Kisses and cuddles and sex are definitely still part of our lives.
Now, if we’re talking about how the… other part of our relationship works – that’s a whole lot simpler. S is Dominant, J’s a switch (probably about 70% sub/30% Dom) and I’m a sub. Most of the time, we’re both submitting to S… sometimes I’m submitting to J too – sometimes just J. We have our likes and dislikes and they all mostly gel nicely together. We’ve been doing this long enough after all heh
We don’t just have kinky sex though – regular vanilla sex is just as much fun.
There’s more to it than just that but that’s kind of the basics of it. Surely the same can be said for most healthy relationships?